Sex and Love, as usual
January 12, 2009
Everything keeps coming back to a few key points about relationships.
Sex without love is fruitless. It is a tree without purpose, for beauty only.
Is my sex, an ornament?
A garden filler?
What is sex, without love?
Not for me. That’s what.
It’s a good thing love comes naturally to me.
I fell in love with a man today, crossing the road.
I hoped that my eyes would penetrate the back of his head and into his soul, that he would turn around to let me see his face, let me touch his face and put his hands around my body.
It was his shirt.
I fell in love again with a woman last night, that I’ve never spoken to, one I’ve only seen in pictures. A woman so beautiful that my heart skips beats when I look at her hair, her face, her skin tone.
I fall in love so easily, all the time, in and out. And I worry.
Have I built too many walls around my lasting love that my standards are unreachable?
Am I still yet to experience true love?
No, I’ve definitely felt true love.
He was a challenge like none I’ve known before or since. A real man with love in his heart, and an alcoholic sleeve to rest his worries on. I fixed him for a long time, I looked after him, and he kept me busy. Kept me wanting, and kept me in arms reach of perfection.
I loved him so much, that I moved heaven and earth to make a life for us, as he did.
But addiction is a terrible affliction, and he had too many. Too many addictions ahead of me in the line, I couldn’t bare it.
So I made a list.
Things a man would need to do in order to be my forever-lover.
- Love me.
- Sing to me.
- Read stories to me at night time.
- Enjoy the music I enjoy, whether he dances or not, his appreciation is of the utmost importance.
- Willingness to change his mind, and compromise.
- The ability to see great things in his future, and dream, like I do, without depending on whether or not he’ll get there.
- Hair that suits my mood. If his hair-do becomes unsuitable, he must be willing to change his hair back to the way that I like it. Any man of any colour of any size of any stench could win my heart with a hair-do. And that’s no word of a lie. It has to suit them, too. It can’t just be any, just one, that I like on everyone. It has to be the one that suits them, best.
I can’t decide if I’m happy in my life or not.
I think I am.
lawl.
Oh you.
We would never work, I would never change my hair for you.
Sorry.
I still love you though
You’ve had fantastic hair since I’ve known you. And I really can’t imagine you looking bad with any hair cut, really.
In fact, you definitely tick a lot of these boxes.
lol, I’d sing to you, if you ask nicely I’ll read to you.
I can’t promise to enjoy your music though, that’s something I just cannot do. I’m sorry but you listen to crap music then I’m just not gonna say anything.
I also refuse to change my mind, unless you have a super compelling argument. I will compromise though.
As for great things, I’m pretty sure we both know that I see great things for my future and that I’m totally going to get there, so that’s a win.
Just wait till you see my list of what I want from a woman, you’ll be like “omg” freals.
The concept of forever-love is kinda kooky anyway. I’m glad you fall in love so easily, though.
Sex, well. Sex without love is still fun. Fruitless, yes, but I wouldn’t let that stop anybody; we eat junk food despite it not being a fulfilling meal. I think sex without trust is worse, myself.
I’m 20, and I’ve been heartbroken enough, but I’m not so silly as to think that I shan’t find love again. You’ll never find somebody who enjoys all of the same music you do, AND who will change their hair for you…but you’ll find somebody you love despite that. Prove me wrong in 5 years, I dare you. You’re 23, attractive, smart (from what little I know of you) – with practically your whole life ahead of you.
cjmules – You’ll read to me *again … you mean.
The rules aren’t unbendable. They’re also quite gray, in parts.
I would, and there’s no surprise here, love to see your list of ‘wants’ in a woman.
Perhaps in my next blog, you never know.
PressedStarling – foreverlove is a concept I try, I go so far as to say – daily – to figure out. It plagues me, the contradiction of passion and foreverness.
It’s always nice to witness a believer in love. Sometimes I think I’m just losing hope, rather that actually stopping believing.
Trust is an interesting amendment though, to the quesiton of sex.
I think I’ll give that some thought.
cjmules – Now I hope so.